The Seasoned Fries — and Why They Arrive Soggy

The blend sits in the same family as the dry rubs — salt, pepper, garlic and paprika with a savoury base. It is recognisably part of this menu rather than a generic fry seasoning.

The cut matters as much as the seasoning. They are thick enough to stay soft inside, which is what separates them from a thin, uniformly crisp fry.

A regular is $2.79 at 500 calories; a large is $4.29 at 900. On a group order, two larges cost less and arrive in better condition than four regulars, which is why the packs are built that way.

Fries in a closed container steam themselves. The heat has nowhere to go, moisture condenses on the lid and drops back onto the fries, and within about ten minutes a crisp fry is a soft one.

This is not a quality problem at the restaurant — it is physics, and it happens to every fry in every closed bag anywhere.

A fifteen-minute drive home turns excellent fries into acceptable ones. Delivery turns them into something you would not have ordered.

Leave the bag open. If you are collecting, do not seal it and do not put it in the boot — an open bag on the passenger seat loses far less than a closed one anywhere.

Ask for them to be packed last. A container of fries sitting under a box of wings for five minutes while the rest of the order finishes is already steaming before you leave.

And eat them first. Of everything in a wing order, the fries are the item with the shortest window. The wings will still be good in ten minutes; the fries will not.

Three exist and they are meal-sized rather than sides. Louisiana Voodoo at $5.19 regular and 680 calories, Buffalo Ranch at the same price and 610, and plain Cheese Fries at $4.59 and 580.

The large versions reach 1,180, 1,070 and 1,020 respectively. A large Louisiana Voodoo alongside a 10-piece combo is considerably more food than most people intend to order.

They also travel worse than plain fries, because cheese sauce accelerates the steaming. If loaded fries are going in a car, accept that they will arrive as a different dish.

Cajun fried corn at $3.59 regular and 200 calories does something no fried potato can — the sweetness cuts through a large order of fried chicken rather than adding to it.

At 200 calories against 500 for a regular fries it is also the lighter choice by a wide margin, and it holds up better on a journey because corn does not go soggy the way a chip does.

It is the most underordered item on the board and the one most worth trying if you have only ever taken fries.